Living a life of gratitude

Written By Georgia McKee

Right at the beginning of my freshman year of high school, I tore my lateral ligaments in my right ankle during JV soccer practice while trying to field a cross from deep in the right corner. My ankle plunged into a sprinkler hole and my body kept on going. It’s still traumatic to think about it to this day, 23 years later. I never had surgery on it so my ankles are a bit of a mess. I can roll my right ankle just standing still. It doesn’t keep me from backpacking, running, paddleboarding and trying to keep up with my two young daughters, but for a long time, I was resentful. Fear of re-injury kept me from a lot of joy. I resented whatever a-hole left the sprinkler hole uncovered. I resented my body, myself for not opting for surgery, and I resented the ER doctor who just slapped a cast on it (literally the worst thing he could’ve done). This cycle of negativity followed me through sports and festered in a cycle of negative thoughts and worry. What does this have to do with gratitude? 

What is Gratitude?

The entryway to gratitude is a heart of openness, being surprised in wonder, acceptance and appreciation. Basically, the opposite of negativity and fearfulness that comes with our woundedness. According to Robert Emmons (one of the foremost gurus of gratitude – side note: how cool would it be to be known as the “guru of gratitude”?) gratitude has three key components:

  1. It is an affirmation of the goodness of the gift. 

  2. We recognize the source of the goodness of the gift is outside ourselves. 

  3. The receiver is more likely to feel grateful if the gift is thought to be gratuitous. 

Psychologists like Emmons have documented how gratitude is the antidote to negative feedback loops and negative mental chatter. Examples of breaking the cycle of negativity include: It is such a privilege to train in this place. It is such an honor to be on this team. I am so grateful it was my ligaments and not bones or something worse. Philippians 4:4-6 reminds us we should rejoice in Lord always…and instead of worrying, give it over to God in prayer through gratitude! Breaking the cycle with gratitude doesn’t ignore our worries or issues – it asks us to lean into them. When we do this, gratitude celebrates the present, blocks toxic emotions, makes you more resilient, strengthens bonds with teammates, and strengthens your sense of self-worth. In other words, it can give you a sense of belonging! And, in extreme cases, gratefulness can be the antidote to (*whispers*) the yips. 

Gratitude is an entryway to the heart of God

Gratefulness can also help make you feel belonging on more cosmic scale – at home with God. Earlier I mentioned that gratitude begins with an open heart and being surprised by wonder. When we see the beauty of creation or find joy amidst grief, we recognize the gift of beauty and our createdness. When we stop to notice the ordinary miracles - the freshly cut grass, our favorite gatorade flavor in the cooler, a good day at pracitce -  our mindset shifts. We become filled with wonder and awe, naturally giving thanks to God for the gifts of the ordinary. It’s in noticing these ordinary miracles that we begin to feel more connected to creation and our creator. 

Many Christians see gratitude as singular, as a response to one event: the cross at Calvary. And this is true! Our response to the gratuitous gift of restoring us to God can only, ever be, “thanks!” Jesus’ death and resurrection are inherently good, it comes from outside ourselves and it is certainly lavish, but it is only a part of the gift of grace. As Br. David Steindl-Rast (another gratitude guru) says, 

The essential point in [Jesus’] life, long before he dies on the cross, is that he affirms the value of every human being…He affirms the value of every human being as a human being and in that way saves them, by saving their self-respect, by making them stand on their own two feet and pulling them out of that consensus reality that their society had formed and that, sadly, hasn’t changed very much in our society.  

-David Steindl-Rast, Gratefulness: the heart of prayer


Jesus gives us way more than just a ticket to heaven. He gives us meaning, purpose, belonging, and inherent value as human beings – beloved children of God. When we only think of the cross in terms of gratitude, we often miss the other side of gratitude: that you are valued, you are worthy, and (this blows my mind) Jesus is actually grateful for you. In John 10:10, Jesus says: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” The “thief” is negative feedback loops and cynicism.  A life of gratitude is a life of wholeness. And when we experience this wholeness that Jesus wants for us, we are experiencing the grace and also the inherent value that God gives us. 

4 ways to practice gratitude

  1. Begin with acceptance (instead of resistance). That is, begin with a “yes” followed by “and” … ask: what is this (event, moment, etc) inviting me to? 

  2. Move to “positive scanning” or finding the silver lining when things are not going as planned or hoped. After a loss, amidst an injury, etc. (Note: this does not mean be positive all the time – that’s called toxic positivity. As Steindl-Rast says, we don’t have to be grateful for grief but we can be grateful from within our grief.)

  3. Low hanging fruit: write down the most obvious things you’re grateful for (food, a home, an education, job, friends, family, etc.). Then move on to step 4.

  4. Wonder: take a second to look at an object you own and thank it. (Example: your cleats – the leather from a cow that gave it, the engineer who designed the efficient technology and material, the athlete that tested it, the factory worker that put it together, the delivery truck & driver who brought it to you, the grip it gives you on the field, etc.). 

Bonus: Gratitude is a powerful source of flow. When you reach step 4 unconsciously instead of focusing on the negative, you’re more likely to enter a flow state of performance! In theological terms, you’re more likely to be in the flow of God – the gift of grace and love passed back and forth between the creator and creation. From the God of the universe, who is grateful for you.

Resources for Further Reading


Written by The Rev. James Franklin, CAC Chaplain and Wake Forest University campus minister

Georgia McKee
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